The Tragedy of Abrahamlet – Abraham’s Best Quotes on TWD

There are few characters as quotable as Abraham on The Walking Dead, and this has been his season to shine.  Abraham Ford, played to perfection by Michael Cudlitz, has delivered so many one-liners we can barely keep up, so we decided to start tracking them.  Thanks to Hardwick’s quick wit on The Talking Dead, we also have a nickname for our wordsmith friend – Abrahamlet.

Abraham - The Walking Dead

And don’t hold us responsible for the mouth on this guy.  His metaphors are as colorful as his hair.

Here are some of our favorite quotes from Abrahamlet, in no particular order.

Oh honey, look at you. You’re a damn mess.

Oh honey

Those are damn hypnotic. (on Rosita’s boobs)

I am a large man. And I have had many beers to make up for that.

Loose ends make my ass itch.


When you were pouring the Bisquick, were you trying to make pancakes?


It is the fruit of some off-the-chart stupidity. Some Grade-A, butt steak idiocy.

Son of a Dick!

Son of a Dick

If I have not gotten my psyche situated straight, it’s because the shi*’s continually been hitting the fan without respite.

There is a vast ocean of shi* that you people don’t know shi* about.

Ocean of Shi*

I don’t give a monkey’s left nut.


Mother Dick

I’ve been to eight country fairs and a goat rodeo, but I’ve never seen anything like that.

The plan just got dicked.

Why are dingleberries brown? That’s just the way shi* is.


I don’t give two short and curlies what it looks like.

Have a favorite that we left off of the list? Please share in the comments below. I’m sure I missed some and I am sure that there are many, many more on the way.

About Sully

Co-founder of Nerd Fu. TV and TiVo fanatic, movie buff, collector of Pop!'s, part-time gamer.

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  1. Son of a Dick, aka Ron

  2. Bitch nuts!

  3. Like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end

  4. Who’s Deanna!!

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